cuts

My wrists,
my arms,
my body,

atonement?
Attention?
Disgust?
Pleasure?

Does there even need to
be a reason

questions unanswered,
questiosn answered.
Chaos.
The anger destructive,
the sadness never ending,
disgust with myself.

Can anyone help me?
Help me climb this red ladder,
I made myself?
Will there be someone waiting at the top?

Or will I fall down again in this neverending
darkness?
Will I ever find salvation?

Is loneliness the only thing waiting for
somenone who hates himself? Or
will there be someone waiting?

Ever falling down again. I need
to cut in order to get higher.